God's Beautiful Chaos: November 2008

All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord's Supper*), and to prayer. A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord's Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved. Acts 2:42-47

How many of have ever really thought about what "God's Church" is? I always said the blanket "Fellowship with other believers, discipleship, blah, blah, blah." You know, I never really understood what I talked about.

For the last 6 weeks my husband and I have really seen what "God's Church" is. As you know, my awesome hubby lost his job. Well, 4 days later, I lost mine. Within one week our lives were completely uprooted, turned upside down, and we would finally learn and understand faith, hope, trust and love in God. I was devastated when I found out we were both unemployed. What about bills, health insurance, the kids, food, life? I hyperventilated. I cried. I screamed (um, yeah, crazy woman in her truck at a park screaming). I questioned God "WHY? How could you do this do us?!?!?!" I was angry, depressed, everything. I found emotions I never knew existed. Yet, underneath it all has truly been a peace I could never have found on my own.

This peace I have is not from me. Only God can give it. It is the peace and the joy Paul is always talking about. I still worry, and cry, and stress, and lose patience, get angry, etc. I just can't explain it. We still have no jobs, we are completely broke with no mortgage, electricity, cars, etc paid for, we lose insurance in about 2 weeks, yet, somehow God's love is still in me. The bad of this is not Him, but the peace and joy is. I love God more now than before. I LOVE staying at home with the girls. I love fixing dinner and eating BEFORE 6. I know it will be short lived and soon (hopefully) I will return to work. Until then I praise God I am where I am.

So, back to God's church. You always hear about how "Did you hear about that person that helped that other person?" Well we have received so much in the last month I just can't describe how I feel. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and love for everyone who has prayed and helped. You are all awesome.

So far we have gotten gas money, childcare money, costco gift cards, olive garden gift card, a free awesomely comfy leather couch, food, food, and more food. We couldn't have done it with the help and prayers of others. I can't wait till this chapter of trials is over, but for now I thank God for what we do have. So many others out there don't.

I leave you with this little story from sweet Sophia. Tonight I asked her "What are you thinking?" She answered "Gawd." I ask, "What about God?" "How he make aminals (yes that is spelled right) and he make ME!" I love her! She is so in love with Jesus and God. Everytime a worship song comes on she raises her hands and says "Praise Jesus!"