Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Doubt - Conquer it Jesus style

So, I doubt. I doubt about EVERYTHING! Will we EVER get our kids, will I EVER catch up on sleep, will I EVER (insert anything in here). For awhile I used to dwell on my doubt - to the point of stressful sicknesses. Now, I recognize my doubt and I pray.

Don't get me wrong, Doubt is hard to break. I doubted an hour ago whether or not God really wanted to meet my friends and travel together to get our kids. I resigned to the fact He wanted us to hold back and that we would be last. Then I was reminded that God doesn't want me to doubt, only Satan does. God knows what is best. If He wants these three families to meet, we will. Maybe not in Ethiopia, but someday - before heaven.

We live in a culture that causes doubt in our minds. We always want what we don't have, therefor we doubt if we will ever get it. On Sunday we learned how John the Baptist - the guy who led the way for our Savior - doubted whether or not Christ was really our Savior. That amazed me! This wonderful great man did not believe that Christ was the Son of God? Wow! We all need to trust Jesus for our salvation and not lead our minds into doubt. The spiritual battle we are in is for our faith. When we doubt, we take away from our faith in our Lord.

So, as our pastor continued, he pointed out when we doubt. We doubt when we are tired (que the husband's nudge to my leg), we doubt when we are hungry, when we are alone (remember Jesus was tempted alone, hungry, tired, and hot in the desert), confused, hurt, etc. We have to watch out for these times when we are weak. When other's start to doubt, be their cheerleader no matter what their attitude. Try not to judge them, because we will also be in the same spot some day.

So, what can we do when we doubt. I try to remember why I am here. Jesus died for us to erase this doubt and to show us all is well and we are taken care of. Let Him carry your burden for a little - have faith and He will erase all doubts. We have to remember that God's perspective on things are different than ours. We want things to go how we plan. For example, as my youngest stepson fought to win Regionals so they could travel to State, I kept reminding myself that maybe God wanted the other boys to win. Maybe neither one of them had won anything before and God was showing them His power and glory. My stepson is a pure athlete and he will make it to state next year, so this year, it was someone else's turn. We have to remember there are so many other factors in our lives we can't see and God doesn't want us to see.

This week has been a struggle. I just want my children home! I doubted God's plan for them and us. I wondered what I had done wrong to not be able to get them home by when I wanted them home. This adoption process has been so wonderful for my faith and peace with God. God reminded me again today that I cannot make Jesus and His plan into something I want. There are to many other factors in play here. Jesus CHOSE to humble himself and be crucified. So, why can't I be humble and listen to what God is telling me. Open my heart and see what it is I am to be doing. I have a lot to do before my babies come home. But most importantly, I need to get right with God and my marriage and family needs to be right with God, too. Especially before we bring home these new ones. So, now my focus is on the Lord. What does HE want me to do?

Yesterday I started my fast of sugar again. The only thing I will allow is 1 scoop of ice cream (low cal) or frozen yogurt each night. I challenge each one of you to fast on something that is holding you back. What is something you feel you can't give up? Fast from it. Focus on the Lord, let Him get you back on track.

Phew, sorry for the longwinded chat. Let me know your thoughts. Let me know if you fast and how you do too!

Friday, May 26, 2006

Tickets and Burdens

You know through this whole process I went through every emotion God gave us. Happiness, saddness, anger, bitterness, jealousy, joy, anxiety, fear, awe, flad, peace, beauty, on and on. Then (as usual) when I thought I was a my low point, a wonderful friend told me the following:

I want to sharesomething that has helped me often in these times- do you remember Corrie TinBoom who lived in Amsterdam and helped rescue Jews during WW II? She asked herfather once, as a child, how she would know she was ready for the Lord to takeher home and her father said, "Corrie, when we take the train, when do I giveyou your ticket? Do you get it after I purchase it? Do you get it as we walkto the platform? No, it is my burden to carry for you until right before weboard, then you are ready and the time is right for you to hold your ticket andgive it to the man." So it is with our father- the burden is not yours untilright when you need it- Jesus is carrying your court date, paperwork, andadoption now. He always carries our burdens and yet I've seen this last weekhow I've tried and tried to take it back from him. I've struggled against himover carrying those burdens and after reaching a point of exhaustion Rob and Irealized it wasn't our time to carry "the ticket". This is one of my hardestlessons in life to remember and walk out- I hope sharing my struggle here can offer some encouragement for you. We had a prayer time at our house last nightwith friends & family for our court date and we all prayed for your date to comesoon and for the Spirit to encourage and comfort you as you wait in an "unknown"point- it is so hard to not know what is going on and if there is progress or not.

How wonderfully true is that? So, on my way to work I prayed for God to take this burden from me. I wanted to be set free from this anxiety of the waiting game. So far so good! How wonderful that God is strong enough for us to carry these heavy burdens we have. An He doesn't complain!

So for you, I pray you will give God your burdens - all of them. Let your heart be free and clear from all that clouds it. Let Him be your like and shine brightly in your life as he has shown in ours. Praises to your weekend!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

A new desk!

So, I got my new desk partially today! One step closer to getting the home office ready for the little ones and when I get to work from home (well part-time at home). We are moving our office tomorrow and I get the secretary's desk and a glass shelf. Cool. So tomorrow I will be able to clean house and get the nursery started!

It has been a pretty stressful week this week. It has been really hard to wait for our court date. I found out today a friend got her court date tomorrow. I am so excited for her! I wish ours was soon, but I guess we have to wait more. God knows and God will protect our children and our hearts.

As an update, Nick never did make it to State for tennis. He did so well this year and made it to regionals, he and his doubles partner just couldn't get it together. We all think next year he'll make it. Everyone is so excited for the trip. We are all just wanting to get there.

I have learned a lot about my faith lately. I feel so close to the Lord. He has been my protector through all of this. George's heart is starting to come around and he is a little more sensitive when I get in my "sad zone". I just keep telling myself I am at about the 6 month mark of a pregnancy. It is now starting to get uncomfortable. No, my ankles are swelling, and I don't have cravings, but my heart yearns, I am really tired, and I am already nesting.

Oh, last stupid entry comment. We bought a laminator! I would suggest everyone has a laminator. It is awesome. I put together a scrapbook for the boys and George sent them through. It was awesome!

So, according to George, I am now obsessed with my blog and internet. Maybe he is right. I check email all the time and I constantly check everyone elses blogs. What else can a woman do while waiting for her children to come home? It kills time and makes the days go faster.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Authority and Love and God's command

So, have you all ever questioned the authority and "Why are they doing this?" Well, that was what a lot of this weekend was about. I chose an agency to help us in our process of adoption. God chose them as our authority for this process. We followed His plan. The agency has made a decision that has hurt me and a lot of other families to the core. We will not be allowed to visit our children or receive them in the orphanage. Unfortunately they will be brought to us at our hotel. As you can imagine, we were disappointed. At first I wanted to send the "angry" email, but thankfully God stopped me on that. Instead I have prayed so very hard this weekend and cried so many tears over how to handle this. So, please continue to pray for my heart, my agency to change their minds, my children, and the impacts this may have. It is unfortunate that so many families are now bitter toward this agency that we all loved so much just last week. I have researched so many orphanages and they to have these "hiccups".

So what does all this mean? I was reminded by God through all of this that we are to follow our authority. 1 Peter talks about who we are to obey and follow.

1 Peter 1:16-17 F- or the Scriptures say, "You must be holy because I am holy. And remember that the heavenly Father to whom you pray has no favorites. He will judge or reward you according to what you do. So you must live in reverent fear of him during your time as "foreigners in the land."" - We are to follow Christ and be like Christ in all we do. Let us be holy in our decisions and actions. We are not here to be compared to other people nor are we here to compare their actions to "what we would have done". We are here to support, love and pray over.

1 Peter 2:13-1 - 13 For the Lord's sake, respect all human authority—whether the king as head of state, or the officials he has appointed. For the king has sent them to punish those who do wrong and to honor those who do right. - God appoints our authorities to us. My agency is the authority on the matter of our adoption, my boss is my authority at work, my husband is my authority at home. I am to be submissive to them and respect them. However, that does not mean I must bow down to them. That is reserved for the everlasting King - God the Father, Christ the Son, Spirit the Counselor. I am able to offer my advice to them, though.

1 Peter 3:8-12 - Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. For the Scriptures say,"If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil." - So for now I have to hold to God's command and His promise. In the end I will get my children and I will love them and they will love me. This is a minor hiccup in our process, and one day it probably won't matter. I love my children and meeting them in a hotel room or a foster home, I will love them no less. There are still so many things to experience in their country outside of the home.

Either way our agency decides, I want to do all out of love. I want everything to be Godly and what is right only for our children. Please pray for the right outcome in this new road we are on.

Friday, May 19, 2006

August?????

So, why I am still awake at 11:30 is beyond me. So much has happened this week, I am just at a loss. We might not be able to travel now until at least August. It is nobody's fault, it is just government, doctors, vacations, etc. Please pray we get a quick court date and travel date. God can create this miracle for us and all the other families waiting.

Tomorrow I will be helping out at an adoption conference. I was asked to speak at one of the workshops on Ethiopian adoption. Pray it goes well.

Nick and partner didn't make it to state. He was REALLY disappointed, but there is still next year!

I best be getting to bed so I can have a good day.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Wide-Eyed enthusiasm

So, we are Amazing Race junkies and something one of the hippies said last night really struck home. He said he lives everyday with "wide-eyed enthusiasm". So what does that mean? To me, to pray every morning for God's grace on my heart and actions. To love being alive and appreciate what have I have. To be enthusiastic even in trials. To know that I am being molded by God in what I am going through. To be child-like and take everything in as if it were brand new and glorious. God sees us this way. We are His children and He laughs as we laugh, cries when we cry, and loves us even when we don't deserve it.

There is so much going on right now, I could just hole up and become depressed. Death, murder, court dates, family stresses, kids, work, etc. But you know, without them, I would see God's work in each situation. The death that brought a family together and prayed for the one who caused the accident. The murder who brought him to his knees for help and salvation. The waiting and waiting for a court date in Ethiopia that brought peace and mercy to my heart. The family stuff that I can only give to God because He is the only one to understand. Kids who are denying Christ but I know will be called to him. Work which just seems to get in the way with everything.

Then, I remember how Christ lived and all He suffered. He ministered for years with nothing in His life except God's backing, grace, compassion, mercy and love. Why do I think that God can't take my burdens from me and protect me? He created the earth and all that is in it, He raises the dead, and most importantly He is my everything. He loves me so much, why shouldn't I love him! I have so much in my life - husband, kids (who don't do drugs or drink), house, job, awesome church, friends, animals who are so darn cute, a car, food, money, movie theaters, tvs, books, bibles, freedom, and above all God.

So, each day remember your life with wide-eyed enthusiasm. Each day is glorious and brought to us by God. Only He knows what is in store for us, but it is wonderful!

P.S. - Our court date should be in the next month and then travel about 2 months after. So July/August. Pray for an earlier date!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Mother's Day, Garage Sale, Updates

What a weekend! We had our garage sale and I still haven't caught up on sleep. I just found out today I will be putting together a workshop on Ethiopia at an adoption seminar this weekend. Pray for me and the right words.

I also had a great Mother's Day. They got me a really cool diaper bag, Strawberry Shortcake stuff, windchimes, sweat tarts, and a beautiful watch. It fits perfect and the diaper bag will be great for 3 children!

Not much on the adoption front, business as usual. Just getting everything ready for when we have to travel to get our babies. I met so many mothers from my neighborhood this weekend it was wonderful. I also met a little 5 yr old boy up the street who just started playing hockey. I introduced him to my hubby who may be his future coach. He was pretty excited.

Well, not much here, just catching up on season finales (I know we are tv junkies). TIVO will do that to you. I am excited to have kids so we can't watch tv as much.

Blessings to you all. Remember and hold to God's love, His compassion, His grace, and His Mercy.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Tennis, Kids, Sale, Devotions

Well, Nick came back from districts today. He and his partner took 1st place in doubles! We are so proud of them. They go to regionals Friday and Saturday next week. We are blessed because they will be here! So we get to go watch! Congrats boys!

So, we accepted a new referral for a 3 yr old boy. He is sooo adorable. Once we have our court date (soon I hope) I will be able to post the pictures because they will be ours! His name is Alemayehu but we will call him Giovanni (thanks to my hubby's Italian roots). So that makes us at a 19 yr old boy, 19 yr old boy, 16 yr old boy, 5 yr old Ethiopian boy (Caleb), 3 yr old Ethiopian boy (Giovanni), 5 month old Ethiopian girl (Sophia). Wowie! We are so blessed! God is so good and He has totally taken care of everything!

So in about 5 more hours (after napping for about 2) our garage sale will start. Well, we will continue getting ready for it and in about 6.5 hours the early birds will come. The sale was on the news, in the paper, and in a special garage sale section. It is definitely the talk of the town! Hopefully God will double everything we get. If He can create the earth, raise men from the dead, He can definitely multiply our sale.

I have decided I am going to try to post regular devotions as I study God's word and pray and let everyone know how blessed we are in this world and what I see God doing in my life. Tonight at church our pastor was discussing the effect the "Da Vinci Code" has on our society and how as Christians we are to be prepared for this battle. In Ephesian 6:11-12 says "Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." We are at war - a spiritual war. As we face so many bad things against us, we must hold tight to God's promises. I pray you continue reading and learn how to protect ourselves in this battle. We are to have God's word in our hearts and rebuke the enemy when he tries to place doubt in our minds. I know this week I really struggled with a lot doubt. I doubted if we would EVER get our kids, if we would EVER get a court date, if we would EVER get ahead. Well, I finally realized that it doesn't matter. God has everything handled. He'll take care of it. He isn't delegating these tasks to me to figure out, He has already done that. So let us all stand firm in our Faith and put on the shield of salvation and hold tight to the sword of the spirit. Let us each battle everyday because we know that in the end we win the war - in fact we already have through Christ's blood.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Life is never dull

Well, whoever said life is dull - WHATEVER! :)

We just got an email telling us our 3 yr old son, Yuranos, is not up for adoption. Although sad about this news, I am extrememly happy to find out his mother is alive and wants to keep him! So, we have 4 choices:

1) Just take 2 kids (yeah right, we already have the clothes for a 3 yr old)
2 - 4) Pick between 3 available 3 yrs olds.

Wow, I think this is the biggest hang up we have had! So, please pray we will have wisdom in our decision on chosing one of the 3.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Another Wednesday gone

So, as a quick update for everyone. We are still waiting on a court date. I am thinking it will probably be in 2 weeks. From there we will wait 4- 6 weeks for our embassy appointment. Then we travel! I am so excited to pick up my children. This next 2 months can't go by quick enough!

We are having our garage sale this weekend. I pray for good weather and lots of business. I am so choked up at all the donations we have gotten. Our shed is full, our basement is full and you can barely get around our living room! So stop by and help our adoption fundraiser! And if you got stuff for us, you only have days left to bring it by!

Nick is on his way to districts for doubles. He didn't make it for singles, so we'll see tomorrow afternoon how he does. He is so excited!

I just want to thank everyone for all your support and prayers. I have seen God's love and glory through you all. He is so awesome and merciful. My life is so full of love for you all. My babies are going to have such a wonderful and full life thanks to you all. We love you!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Prayer, Prayer and more Prayer!

Well, another week by and closer to our delivery date! I just can't believe that in 2 months or less our babies will be home! We are frantically trying to get ready for our most fabulous garage sale this weekend. We have gotten sooo many donations and I know more are coming! Thank you and bless you all! I pray God will send us car after car who doesn't want to bicker on pricing and is willing to pay a little more for a good cause!

We are still waiting to hear about when the boys will be transferred to Addis and when our court date is. I think this is worse than waiting for our referral! Well, nah. At least I have a precious picture to look at of one of my babies. I just can't wait to hold them and love on them! We have gotten so many positive comments back from families who are just back or who are there right now. I am so relieved our kids are being cared for so wonderfully.

Nick is travelling to Clarkston tonight for districts for Tennis. He is pretty excited. Kev and Malchi are still plugging away at work and fighting us every step of the way on chores! They are all such great kids. I couldn't have been more blessed. They are trustworthy and for the most part respectful of us. I just can't wait to see them as big brothers!

Hubby and I continue to work, work, work. We have so much to do and so little time! I know God will be creating some miracles on us to keep us going! I guess a 30 hour plane ride there will allow us to catch up on sleep and reading! Coming back I know we won't be able to!

Thank you all for your prayers. We ask you continue to pray for all our children's safety, a quick court date and approval (then I can post pictures!), an embassy appt on June 13th or 20th, great success on the garage sale, and continued financial support to help cover some of our costs for the adoption. We are so blessed in our lives and we love you all so much!

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Preparations, Prayer, and Plenty

Well, the preparations now start. We went to Wal-Mart (eww, I know for some) and started buying baby stuff. SCARY. What type of bottle, what size clothes, is there a certain type of pacifer, what diapers, what about diaper rash creme? I have so much learning to do. We need to meet with our doctor for any meds, get money in order, make reservations, etc.

Now, we pray. We pray for a quick travel time. I pray for the right airlines. I pray for a good hotel room to house 8 people! I pray for safety for us and our new babies. I pray for safe and somewhat uneventful trip home. I praise God for this life I have been given to care for.

We have so much in this country and no one can even fathom what it is like in our children's birth country. They only get one meal a day. They walk 45 minutes just to go to school. They have parasites, scabies, disease, and death. I know just our babies are safe with God on our side and theirs.

Monday, May 01, 2006

It's a Girl ... and a Boy ... and a Boy!

We got the ever so awaited phone call today at 1:15 pacific time! We have a girl! She is 3 months old and soooo beautiful! She was abandoned and brought to CWA through an orphanage in Addis. I will post her picture as soon as we have our court date and she is officially ours.

So, our next step is we need our I71-H from INS. Once we get this approval, they will schedule a court date for us (typically about 2 weeks). Then once the adoption is finalized CWA sets up our embassy appointment and we make plan reservations! The embassy appointment is typically 3-4 weeks after the court date.

So, of course we need prayers for a letter from INS, a quick court date and embassy appointment, and cheap airfare! There is so much for us to do before we bring our babies home! Painting, garage sale, cleaning, baby showers, ahhhhhh!!!!!!!

Thank you all for your prayers and your support. We couldn't have made it without God and all your prayers lifted up to Him. Our children also thank you.

Blessings,
Sandra