Doubt - Conquer it Jesus style

So, I doubt. I doubt about EVERYTHING! Will we EVER get our kids, will I EVER catch up on sleep, will I EVER (insert anything in here). For awhile I used to dwell on my doubt - to the point of stressful sicknesses. Now, I recognize my doubt and I pray.

Don't get me wrong, Doubt is hard to break. I doubted an hour ago whether or not God really wanted to meet my friends and travel together to get our kids. I resigned to the fact He wanted us to hold back and that we would be last. Then I was reminded that God doesn't want me to doubt, only Satan does. God knows what is best. If He wants these three families to meet, we will. Maybe not in Ethiopia, but someday - before heaven.

We live in a culture that causes doubt in our minds. We always want what we don't have, therefor we doubt if we will ever get it. On Sunday we learned how John the Baptist - the guy who led the way for our Savior - doubted whether or not Christ was really our Savior. That amazed me! This wonderful great man did not believe that Christ was the Son of God? Wow! We all need to trust Jesus for our salvation and not lead our minds into doubt. The spiritual battle we are in is for our faith. When we doubt, we take away from our faith in our Lord.

So, as our pastor continued, he pointed out when we doubt. We doubt when we are tired (que the husband's nudge to my leg), we doubt when we are hungry, when we are alone (remember Jesus was tempted alone, hungry, tired, and hot in the desert), confused, hurt, etc. We have to watch out for these times when we are weak. When other's start to doubt, be their cheerleader no matter what their attitude. Try not to judge them, because we will also be in the same spot some day.

So, what can we do when we doubt. I try to remember why I am here. Jesus died for us to erase this doubt and to show us all is well and we are taken care of. Let Him carry your burden for a little - have faith and He will erase all doubts. We have to remember that God's perspective on things are different than ours. We want things to go how we plan. For example, as my youngest stepson fought to win Regionals so they could travel to State, I kept reminding myself that maybe God wanted the other boys to win. Maybe neither one of them had won anything before and God was showing them His power and glory. My stepson is a pure athlete and he will make it to state next year, so this year, it was someone else's turn. We have to remember there are so many other factors in our lives we can't see and God doesn't want us to see.

This week has been a struggle. I just want my children home! I doubted God's plan for them and us. I wondered what I had done wrong to not be able to get them home by when I wanted them home. This adoption process has been so wonderful for my faith and peace with God. God reminded me again today that I cannot make Jesus and His plan into something I want. There are to many other factors in play here. Jesus CHOSE to humble himself and be crucified. So, why can't I be humble and listen to what God is telling me. Open my heart and see what it is I am to be doing. I have a lot to do before my babies come home. But most importantly, I need to get right with God and my marriage and family needs to be right with God, too. Especially before we bring home these new ones. So, now my focus is on the Lord. What does HE want me to do?

Yesterday I started my fast of sugar again. The only thing I will allow is 1 scoop of ice cream (low cal) or frozen yogurt each night. I challenge each one of you to fast on something that is holding you back. What is something you feel you can't give up? Fast from it. Focus on the Lord, let Him get you back on track.

Phew, sorry for the longwinded chat. Let me know your thoughts. Let me know if you fast and how you do too!