Blind views and my changed thoughts

Who knew that 6 months ago I would be packing to fly half-way around the world to pick up 3 children that are MINE. My heart and thoughts has changed so much over the last months. God has opened up my heart to see the love, the tragedy and the wonders of this world. Most of us reading this live in America - plentiful America. A place where everything comes in sizes - s, m, l, xl, giant size that, biggie size this, twin, full, queen, king, single or double, endless hashbrowns, all you can eat buffets, on and on. Then you travel or see other countries. Italy doesn't have the giant size at McDonalds and they aren't that poor of a country. They don't gorge themselves at every meal or buy everything in bulk. Then you go further into 3rd world countries, Mexico, Ethiopia, Sudan, Cambodia, etc. How do these countries make it?

My mind is such a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. I grieve for my children's birthcountry. A country so overrun with poverty, corruptness, disease, rituals we can't imagine, famine, etc. But as I look at the pictures of their people, they smile, they hug, they laugh, and they love. The Ethiopians love their children, their culture, their families, their lives. They only eat about once every two days, they carry water miles and miles, they don't have shoes or a closet of clothes, the have scars and burns from accidents and healers, they walk 2 miles to school (if they are lucky), and they watch as their parents die, or their siblings die. Yet, they actually ENJOY life. They do work for their lives, not just sit at a computer like I do. They sweat for food and build muscles to get drinking water (which is also bathing, cleaning, and cooking water) They have PURE courage we could never have in our comfort lives. They have courage I could never muster if I were in their shoes. They endure what we will most of us will ever only see in movies, pictures, books, and quick adoption or missionary journeys.

I watched a movie last night - Beyond Borders (Angelina Jolie). If you can put aside the swearing, the not needed love story, and the sex scene and really look at what is portrayed for 3 countries, you would be shocked - I was. I stayed up 2 hours after the movie was over - numb. How can we not do more for these children? How can I not pick up my cross daily and also carry their burden, too? Although I don't agree with a lot of the lifestyle choices of Angelina, she does have a heart for these countries. If you rent the movie watch her ambassador section on the bonus materials.

I am scared to travel to Ethiopia. How will I really handle this different culture? Will my older teenage kids be immune to it? Or will they be moved to change their perspectives. We all know what teenagers are like here. Very in their moment and in their needs. A 16 year old in Ethiopia is struggling to take care of his younger siblings, wishing to go to school, hurting from hunger pains. American teenagers complain because they get grounded, they can't leave until homework is done, they have homework, they are hungry, etc. And I complain because "there is NOTHING to eat!" How can we be so desensitized to this world?

So, what am I going to do? I feel God is starting the call on my heart, but to what? That I leave to God to tell me as time goes on. Everyday I am more and more amazed at God's power and His love for us. I just can't believe how blessed I am to be here and to have what I have. Even if God took it all away (see Job's story in the Old Testament), I would still have Him to take care of me. He loves us all so much and He doesn't want any of us to not be in relationship with Him. I don't know if we will adopt again, or become missionaries, or sponsor 1, 3, or 10 children from AHOPE, Compassion International, etc. I only know I trust God with my life and where He will lead us on our next journey.

Stayed tuned for my next entry where I discuss in more detail God's hand in my life. I have had a lot of time to reflect on His blessings, His love, His mercy and His care.